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PLEASANT TRAGEDIES 
^ OF CHILDHOOD ^ 



PICTURES BY 

F. Y. CO RY 

VERSES BY 

BURGES JO HNSON 




HARP E R ^ B R O T H t: R S 

NEW YORK AND LONDON 

M C M V 



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OCT 12 jyy^ 

U I XI I X 






Copyright, 1901, 1902, 1904, 1905, by Harper & Brothers. 



All rights reserved. 

Published October, 1905. 



Pleasant Tr age die s 
of Childhood 



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Mysterious Ailment 



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A dreadful state they've gotten in, 
Because I scream and beg 

For them to find a safety-pin 
That's sticking in my leg! 

I wish another child would come, 

And help to educate them some! 



[6] 



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The Bath 



[9] 




Great Bottles! The question that's vexing her head 

Strikes me as especially weighty; 
Was it eighty degrees that the doctor said, 

Or was it one hundred and eighty? 
The very idea of it fills me w^ith wrath — 
At mv time of life to be boiled in a bath! 



[lo] 



The First Tooth 



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If this keeps up, I'll wish, forsooth, 

I hadn't ever grown a tooth. 

At any rate, 'twould make me glad 

If one is all I ever had! 

The}^ open up my mouth this way 

About a hundred times a dav 



[t4] 



The First Lock of Haij 



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[17] 



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My mother fusses every day 

To fix me up some different way. 

Fve no desire to be a sham — 

I think I'm nicest as I am! 

And if she wants my hair to curl, 

Why don't she swap me for a girl ? 



[i8] 









T/ie First Colic 



[21] 




Why can't they stop the horrid pain 
That's in my tummy ? But instead 

Of hstening while I explain, 

They're wrapping ice around my head. 

They think, because I'm howling mad, 

I've got brain-fever; wish I had! 



[22] 



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StLspected of Swalloioing a Necklace 




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They say that of all of my infantile deeds 

This swallowing things is the worst. 
Why don't they keep watch on the dog when he feeds? 

I'd tell on him now, if I durst. 
I'm sure that Fd like to have swallowed those beads, 

But the puppy got hold of 'em first. 



[26] 






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His Many Clothes 









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[ 29 1 ^ / 



When we're alone, and no one knows, 

My mother cries, in glee, 
''We'll try on all your pretty clothes- 

What fun it's going to be!" 
But I decide, when all is done. 
It's not my way of having fun. 



[30] 




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After IVhich Graiidfatlier Shall He be iVaiiiedf 



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You'd think, while they're trying to find me a name, 
That Fd have a right to a part in the game! 
For most of the morning my father has said 
Just nothing but Aaron, while mother, instead, 
Would settle her family name on my head; 
Meanwhile they forget that I haven't been fed! 



[34l 



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At the Party 







[37] 




I found one night, when I awoke, 
They'd brought me down the stair 

To show me to some noisy folk 
Who were all eating there. 

Such silly things they did and said, 
I cried the louder for mv bed. 



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B a by s Fi rs t Ch ris tmas 



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1 41] 







They took away my bottle 

And they gave me toys and drums- 
I wonder do they act hke that 

Whenever Christmas comes? 
Tm glad it's only once a year, 
Thev make such noises in my ear. 



[42] 




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IV h en Grandma Comes 



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[45] 



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There's never any noise or fuss 
When Grandma comes to visit us. 
She always knows just what to do, 
For me and for my mother too. 
And it's so peaceful here at rest, 
All snuggled up against her breast. 



[46] 



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Baby Visits His Little Cousins 



[49I 




When they left baby in our care, 
We showed him better ways to talk; 

And if they'd left him longer there, 

We would have taught him how to walk. 

Why, with a very few more chances, 

We'd teach him tricks and songs and dances! 



[50 J 



Sitpplanted 




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[53] 




Seems zif everything nice is done 

Just for that newest kid. 
Once, when / was the youngest one, 

I never got spanked or chid. 
I've pricked his leg with a pin, for fun. 

Fin awfully glad I did. 



[54] 



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Experimenting on the Baby 



[57] 




We took the baby swimming in the water-Hly pool; 
He didn't seem to Hke it, though it was so nice and cool. 
But while we had him down there we was curious to see 
How long you could stay under if you was as big as he. 



[581 



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The Occasional Anguish of Bedtime 







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When it is sister's party night, 

It's hard to have to go 
Straight off to bed. It isn't right! 

You'd think they'd oughter know- 
Er maybe no one loves us, and 

That's whv they treat us so. 



[62] 




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Running Away fi'oni Home 






[65] ,=^_ ^ 



I was so certain yesterday 

It would be fun to run away; 

It never once occurred to me 

How dreadful lonesome it would be. 

And if this realh^ is a cow 

ril hurrv home to mother now. 



[66] 



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Her First Day at School 



[69] 




I never was at school before, 

And oh! I wish that I 
Could go inside somewhere and hide, 

I'm so afraid I'll cry. 
I know those children at the door 
Are laughing at me more and more. 



[70I 



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speaking Her First Piece 



[73] 




It's hard, when I'm dressed up so nice, 
And have my piece so well prepared, 

To have them be as still as mice. 
And know that I am getting scared. 

You can't expect a child like me 

To know her pieces perfectly. 



[74] 



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His First Love Affair 



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[77] 




I told Eliza Mary Ann 

We'd marry when I was a man. 

I told her just how glad she'd be 

To marry such a man as me. 

But now we've quarrelled, guess that I 

Will go to war, an' maybe die. 



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When tlie Painters Were at Work 



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Wasn't it nice of the painter-man 
To leave this elegant brush and can ? 
He'd never guess, if he should come, 
Just who had been and borrowed some. 
Although it partly might explain, 
If baby goes and has a pain! 



[82] 



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On the Farm 






[85] 



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Last time we visited the farm 
It would 've made you laugh; 

We thought it really wouldn't harm 
To harness up the calf. 

I guess we wasn't laughing then — 

And we won't try it soon again! 



[861 



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Playing Cij'cus 



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[89] 




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We're planning for a circus — 

It's the nicest kind of play, 
We hope that some grown-ups '11 come, 

'Cause they have got to pay. 
The wild-man really howls because he thinks it isn't fun; 
And you just better w^ait until the tight-rope act's begun ! 



[90] 



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It Rains on the Day of the Pic7tic 



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[93] 



It's raining — raining hard as cats an' dogs, 

It always did when days we planned for came. 

I wish that w^e were ducks or little frogs, 

Then we could have our picnic just the same. 

It seems zif little children's pleasure days 

Could be put off in such a lot of ways. 



[94] 




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Plavins' in the Barn 



[97] 




The barn's the nicest place to play— 
I' guess 'twRS' meant for little boys; 

You shout and tumble in the ha}^ 
With nobody to mind the noise. 

And there's an awful dang'rous swing 

That flies as high as anything! 



[98] 




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Play i ng Hospital 




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Some day I'll be a doctor-man, 
So now I practise all I can. 
We caught the cat, and Rover too. 
And tried to act as doctors do. 
But baby yelled and spoiled it all. 
By bringing aunty from the hall. 



[ I02 ] 



Brother Gets His Picture Taken 




[105] 




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He felt quite miser'ble, I know, 
Dressed in his Sunday best; 

They pinched his head and sat him so 
He was uncomfyest. 

An' then that sihy picture-man 

Said, "Look as pleasant as you can!" 



[io6] 



Til a n ks giving Eve 



[ 109 J 



It's lots more fun to eat a pie 
When grown-ups are not sitting by; 
And jam and tarts and all such stuff- 
Then }'ou can really eat enough. 
But we're afraid there's much too few 
For now and for to-morrow too! 



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In the Winter Time 



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Oh, winter time is extra nice — 
We run and slide upon the ice, 
Or build a snow-man fat and tall; 
But coasting is the best of all. 
The baby is so soft and plump, 
We put him first in case we bump. 



[114] 



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A Christmas Tragedy 



[117] 




Some day I'll play with the drum, of course, 

But now I can only see 
How cousin Harold has got the horse 

That vSanta Claus promised me! 



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3T 12 190- 




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I IBRARY OF CONGRESS 

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